Thursday, 26 August 2010



Tarese is an episode of longing, of Louie long, longing after Tarese the gorgeous black checkout lady at his local supermarket.  As he stands in the queue he looks on and gazes at the cashier with a bad attitude he begins to see her in a romantic, almost angelic light.  Her lips, her soft skin, her sensual eyes and her imagined smile.  When Louie gets his turn at the checkout and attempts conversation with Tarese who doesn’t register his existence, even subtly angering when he tries to pay with cash (“making me touch your money.”)  Then with that he is promptly dismissed.  However as he exits the store, he just cannot stop thinking about her and promptly steps back inside where he buys a bunch of flowers (paying with credit card) that he attempts to give to Tarese.  Naturally her response is one of shock and horror (“those ain’t for me.”)  From here Louie attempts his romantic gesture until she calls for the manager who offers a moment of clarity to proceedings (“you can’t do that sir, she doesn’t know you.)  This cuts to Louie back in the Comedy Cellar trying to make sense of the scenario saying “to me the whole thing of walking up to a woman and starting talking to her is so fake that I can’t.”  With this the episode returns to later that night and the end of Tarese’s shift where Louie is stood outside the supermarket waiting for her in almost stalker fashion.  With this he attempts to apologise as she angrily asks “what do you want?”  Clumsily Louie says that he wants to take her out to which Tarese responds “you’re crazy.”  From here Louie begins asking (pestering) “why is that crazy?” before attempting to introduce himself while remaining aware enough to tell her not to step into the dihorea vomit on the pavement.  With this Louie follows Tarese onto the subway, getting caught in the doors in the process, as he eventually sits down next to her and attempts to impress her enough into seeing his perspective.  Immediately she again expresses how nothing is going to happen between them but unfazed and determined Louie persists in attempting to explain the situation the way he sees it (“we’re from different worlds”).  He concedes that it is probably kinda creepy how he is following her but he just wants to get to know her, a person outside her usual social circle.  As he continues to babble she shoots back “suck a dick son” in an effort to shut him up.  Despite this he says that he’s going to “keep trying because she is probably putting up a defence because she is from a tough neighbourhood.”  Eventually he requests “can you pretend I didn’t say any of the things I’ve said so far.”  Finally the train gets to Harlem where Louie continues to follow Tarese on her way home asking questions of her life.  Then they get to her building at which point she asks again “what do you want?” adding “so what, you never been with a black girl before?  You want to see what its like to do it with a black girl?  You see me everyday at the store and you got it in your head: what would it be like to go to her neighbourhood and have sex with her?  Is that it?”  This leaves Louie speechless and Tarese closes “well guess what, you don’t get everything you want.  Not all the time.”  And with that she disappears inside.  Now a long way from home Louie stands outside with his head down feeling a failure and a fool.  At this point a bad Jill Scott lookalike (who it turns out is Tarese’s sister) exits the building and gives Louie a smile and says “hello”.  This cuts to her bedroom where she is riding on top of Louie in crushing/smothering fashion, screaming in ecstasy.  With this we return to Louie at the Comedy Cellar concluding “why would you want to talk to a hot girl?” instead suggesting a Jewish in her late 30s that smokes and gives tough hand jobs is preferable.  The episode ends with more feeble attempts by Louie to woo Tarese on the subway

Most definitely.  Louie asks big questions and tries out a certain approach on our behalf.

That I am not the only man that sees beautiful women everyday who I would love to engage in conversation, would love to take out and perhaps begin a relationship with.  That I am not the only man incapable of approaching strangers

Louie makes clumsy attempts to approach ladies look innocent rather stalker-esqe.

Louie musing over what finding a partner entails.  In his opinion what men would really like would be for all women to lay on the ground, spread their legs for the men to just spray like a mist.  Then in Woody Allen fashion he changes the pace explaining that he is not one of those kinds of guys that can just walk up to a woman and talk to them.  He then identifies/describes what particular type of black guy that does it all the time.  Then after the initial act it cuts back to Louie continuing the bit about approaching women and saying how fake the whole process is.  And finally to book end things he questions “why would you want to talk to a hot girl?” instead suggesting a Jewish in her late 30s that smokes and gives tough hand jobs is preferable (“you dirty Jew, I love you”).

Louie winds up in Harlem.

“Making me touch your money.”  “Hi, how would you like to have sex with me and then wish you hadn’t later?  Would you be into that?”  “Look little dude.  I don’t know what you’re thinking but it ain’t gonna happen.”  “Suck a dick son!”

It’s the persistence of Louie in general.  It is dumb but caked in blind optimism.  He is acting out a fantasy that most men have had, one that is sincere and harmless but all too responded to with horror.

Louie is performing his live set at the Comedy Cellar.

A few years after the episode first aired I found myself in a similar situation to Louie meeting up with Nicholyne (“Nikki”), my own equivalent of Tarese.  At least in our case we knew each other and this was something of a fourth date.  However this night she was pissed at me for various reasons (including a comment I’d made the previous night about us having kids).  This evening she was dryly rolling out a list of reasons why we were not suited in dead pan fashion seemingly half genuine and half to tease.  Then as I pick up the ball to try and make things right while in the process of convincing her that we are great and good together, after wearing their pair of us down with my goofy gestures it suddenly occurs to me that I am acting almost exactly like Louie in this episode “Tarese”.  At this moment of clarity I make comment to Nikki that our evening is life imitating art, after previously denying the show’s existence, she tells me that she knows what I am talking and we double over in laughter.  “This is what my life has become.”

It’s a tough pick between Louie and Tarese because they both play it so straight.  How Tarese maintains her cold act/demeanour is incredible and how Louie does not fold in his dumb persistence is truly admirable.

Adepero Oduye as Tarese.


So the second lady is Tarese’s sister?  Is it not weird when she leads Louie into their apartment?  Or did he promptly drag her across New York back to his own place?  I hope his two daughters weren’t home.

With Louie doing a bit in the Comedy Cellar relating to and approaching women sexually.

Showing more of Louie’s attempts to woo Tarese on the subway including “do you ever get curious, you know, in the way black dudes like white girls” adding that “compared to any black guy, we seem gay” prompting a rare nod of agreement from Tarese before conceding “what I’m trying to say is that everybody has their advantage, those dudes have their things….I feel like this is sounding like I’m trying to say is that black guys have big dicks and that I have money” which prompts Tarese to corpse/laugh.

What are puka beads?

This episode is such a major statement on the plight of men the world over.

No comments:

Post a comment