TARESE

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DENTIST

SEASON 1 EPISODE 10 PART 1 (EPISODE 10)

THIS IS IT:

After his awful experience at the hands of his doctor Ben (Ricky Gervais), this episode Louie has to visit his dentist Dr Hepa (Stephen Root).  It begins with Louie sat back in the chair waiting for the doctor who steps into the room in creepy fashion telling Louie that he “look’s a little nervous.  Bit of a dental-phobe are you?”  To this he adds that he makes “dental-phobes” his speciality.  Despite wearing a wedding ring Dr Hepa puts his arm around Louie and pats his chest as he explains that he too has “been afraid of dentists my whole life” and that is why he developed this practice.  As Louie continues to squirm the doctor suggests they “get right to it with the drugs and the gas” beginning with a pill followed by gas and music to alleviate his fear.  The music is from Saudi Arabia and with this the doctor turns up the gas admitting that he is giving Louie more gas than he has ever given anyone.  As it kicks in he strokes and kisses his forehead.  When the drugs and the gas kick in Louie finds himself transported to a desert in the middle east.  Eventually after walking for a few minutes he comes across five locals sat on the ground one of which instructs him to sit down and join them.  Then he recognises the man as being Osama Bin Laden.  With this Louie asks if he can take his photo with him on his phone before he expresses that this is “intense” before telling him that “you are like the worst guy ever.”  At this point Bin Laden speaks saying (in English) “welcome to God’s world” adding “if you were any closer to him, you would be burning alive right now.  We live near him so we are closer to him than all others.”  To this Louie concludes “so living in the desert is what makes you guys crazy” prompting laughter and the response “if it pleases you to say so, then yes” adding “(living here) gives us a higher vantage point on existence.  We view the human flesh as like the peel of a fruit to be chucked away.  The people in those towers, those steel cages, we freed them.”  Disagreeing Louie responds “I get it but you totally shouldn’t have done 9/11.  People aren’t fruit, that wasn’t nice.”  Seemingly confused Bin Laden responds “that wasn’t nice?” at which point Louie further simplifies things adding “you shouldn’t do anything to anybody that you wouldn’t want them to do to you.  Right?  Would you want anybody to do a 9/11y thing to you?” finally declaring that “I think 9/11 was a bullshit move” to which Bin Laden adds “basically you’re saying that we’re assholes.”  Bin Laden reacts hurt, shaking his head and saying “shit” causing Louie to question “did I just talk you guys out of being terrorists?” with Bin Laden’s final words being “well, I just never looked at it like that.”  At this point Dr Hepa appears sat next to Louie asking how he feels before telling him to have some banana which he proceeds to push into his mouth without taking the skin (the vital peel) off telling him that “the skin tastes really good” adding “no don’t bite down, just leave it in your mouth.”  At this point Louie gags and snaps out of his drugged state just as Dr Hepa spins away doing up trousers.  With this he adds “you’re fine to go, nothing wrong with your teeth.  Hey, big fan, really big fan.”

IS IT ANY GOOD:

Yes, as Louie enters the realm of the absurd back in the real world something awful (more awful than meeting Osama Bin Laden) is set to occur.

WHAT IT TAUGHT ME:

That my fear of dentists is justified.

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT:

Louie cuts through the bullshit of modern life and speaks to Osama Bin Laden in the manner with which he needed talking to and dealing with.  Also never eat a banana that has not been peeled.  It might not be a banana.

STANDUP ELEMENT:

He express his fear of his kids disappearing and how child abduction is viewed as the most evil thing in society these days which as a result causes the molester to have to “chuck them out” afterwards.  With this Louie says that he can’t help thinking that if the act was lowered a few notches in people’s perceptions that less child murders would occur and that “at least you would get the kid back.”  And Louie knows that’s hard to hear but its true.  Now he doesn’t know what to do with that information.

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

Louie’s friend Nick told him to go to this dentist.  This is no doubt Nick DiPaolo.

BEST LINES:

“Unfortunately I can’t visit myself so I’m just waiting for my teeth to rot out.”

BEST JOKES:

The whole child molester bit that opens the show.

PERIPHERAL MOMENT:

His comedy set is performed at the Comedy Cellar.

REALITY CROSSOVER:

The best dentist that I ever had committed suicide after him a long line of mediocre dentists tried to take his place until I just gave up on visiting a dentist altogether.  In later years I eventually became the housemate of a dentist who turned out to be a very seedy, strange individual.  I guess much like Louie that too makes me a dental-phobe.

MVP:

Stephen Root remains able to do harmless and creepy in such magnificent style.

GUEST APPEARANCES:

Stephen Root as Dr Hepa and Chuck Sklar as Osama Bin Laden.

EPISODE LINKS:

None.

PERCULARITIES:

The whole thing is fucking peculiar.

OPENS:

With Louie doing a bit at the Comedy Cellar on child abuse.

CLOSES:

With Dr Hepa telling Louie that his teeth are fine and that he can go.

OTHER:

Telling Osama Bin Laden he is “the worst guy ever” is just playing into his hands.  Louie, its what he wants to hear!

FINAL WORDS:

Is “dentalphone” an actual real word?  And is it one word or two?

BULLY

SEASON 1 EPISODE 9 (EPISODE 9)

THIS IS IT:

Welcome to probably the most excruciating and embarrassing episode to date.  Bully begins with Louie at Caroline’s doing a bit about sex education when growing up.  First we treated to a flashback with his father who tells the seven year old Louie that “it’s not sex, it’s called making love” before going through a vivid and graphic description of the withholding technique.  Then this cuts to sex education at school and his terrifying teacher dragging Louie in front of the class to point at the penis on a diagram.  It all serves to confuse him as he lives thinking sex involves squeezing a ball out to ejaculate.  The episode then cuts to Louie at the end of a date suggesting that he and his lady friend (Sandra) go get late night doughnuts and coffee at a shitty coffee shop (“this (coffee) is like piss, its really fantastic”).  Unfortunately with the date going well their conversation is ruined when five loud students (some in Mustang Football letter jackets) enter making so much noise they are unable to hear each other.  And they only becoming louder and rowdier as they wrestle inside the shop until Louie shouts “guys, could you keep it down please.”  Then as Louie continues his conversation about starting out in comedy one of the jocks comes over to their table and says “how’s it going?”  He introduces himself as Sean sticking out a hand with bloodied knuckles.  Louie responds shaking it saying “got it, thanks” and which point he says “got it thanks, that’s your name?”  With this Sean begins bothering the pair of them, intimidating and asking “Louie, when was the last time you got your ass kicked?” before “are you scared?”  As things become awkward the kid presses Louie adding “I could hurt you really bad, right now”.  He explains the bruising on his knuckles as “just two days ago, destroyed this guy’s face, must of hit him like forty times, his teeth were all over the place, just left him there bleeding.” Adding “are you ready for that?  I’m kinda feeling like doing that to you right now.”  With this Louie experiences utter humiliation as the kid says “maybe if you ask me nicely I won’t do that” and suddenly from being the incriminating party by making so much noise, Sean manipulates the situation becoming the aggrieved party pursuing apology.  Then in a truly uncomfortable and awkward moment Louie says “please don’t kick my ass” which after repetition is eventually accepted by the kid.  From here the group exits/leaves the coffee shop mocking Louie on the way as his date looks on with an expression of confused disgust and disappointment.  “That was a nightmare, huh?”  In the aftermath Louie’s date looks as humiliated as he is.  Equally confused by her reaction he asks “you didn’t want me to actually fight that guy, did you?” and even though the mature, adult decision (“the right thing”) was made it has debased Louie too much in his date’s eyes.  With this he says that he’s getting a “weird feeling” from here like she is “looking down at him” at which point she says she would have been “pissed” if he had got into a fight but if she is being totally honest “that was a turn off seeing that.”  Louie responds shocked by this as his date tries to explain it as being a “primitive thing”.  It ends with “my mind is telling me that you’re a great guy but my chemistry is telling me that you’re a loser.”  With this the date spirals to an end as the woman tries to rationalise her feelings.  It was a great doughnut.  Moving on as Louie puts his now ex-date in a cab home he spots Sean and his crew making their own way home as they take the subway.  And crazily Louie follows and stalks them.  Eventually they groups disbands off in their own directions as Louie focuses on Sean and with this he winds up on the Staten Island ferry.  Soon Louie is far from home however Sean is right at home as he steps into a bungalow where through the window you can see his parents inspecting his bruises and quizzing him on where they have come from.  One ad break later and Louie is approaching the front door of house 415 looking to confront and further address the situation.  Naturally his arrival is met with confusion, disdain and denial.  It turns out that Sean’s parents are just as rough as him.  With this Louie is invited into their home as the father (Mike) shouts at another (younger) son to turn the TV down.  From here he asks Louie to say what happened as he describes the pathetic event in pathetic fashion.  At this point Sean is called down where naturally he meets with the reaction “what the hell?”  As he denies the incident his father hits him and roughs him up forcing an apology causing Louie to question the method saying “how do you think he turned out like this?”  Suddenly the issue now becomes Louie and the parents as first the father glares as the mother shouts “screw you” before throwing him out and calling him a “faggot” angry at being told how to raise her kids.  As he begins to walk back home the father emerges conceding “hey man, I don’t know what to do” revealing that he has three kids inside and that Sean is 18.  With this Louie empathises saying how he has two kids of his own (“two girls with the oldest 8”).  He says that hitting his kid may not be a great idea only for the father to shrug and resign with “well, that’s what I know” before offering Louie a cigarette.  “My dad hit me and his dad him”.  Sitting down the dad asks “how old where you when you had kids?” which Louie replies 34 as the opposing number turns out to be 20.  This reveals the dad to be probably three or four years his junior despite having such a old kid.  He adds “Grace had a great ass then.”  Louie tries to philosophise adding “well, my life between 20 and 34 was all shit so I may as well have had kids.”  Moving on Louie asks what he does for a living and it is sanitation.  In response Louie reveals he a comedian commenting “yeah, it’s a job” which receives the response “no it isn’t”.  It ends with them sat speechless on the porch steps smoking their cigarettes.

IS IT ANY GOOD:

Yes, painfully good.  Excellently observed and utterly humiliating.

WHAT IT TAUGHT ME:

That it’s not only me that fears teenagers and the repercussions of calling them to task.  Also that in the long run you are better/best off ignoring.

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT:

It is comforting to share and accept that adult men can at times be frightened of groups of teenagers.  Also it acknowledges and reminds that working class people and blue collar workers are tougher than most.

STANDUP ELEMENT:

The episode starts with a Louie doing a bit about sex education at Caroline’s.  Then it book ends with Louie saying what a shit he was when he was a kid.  He establishes that he is now too old to begin fighting, blowing guys and skiing.

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

Staten Island, home of the Wu-Tang Clan.

BEST LINES:

“Got it thanks, that’s your name?”  “My mind is telling me that you’re a great guy but my chemistry is telling me that you’re a loser.”

BEST JOKES:

This is actually a hard fucking episode with little in the way of jokes, just lots of dark humour.  That said the closing exchange between young Louie and old Louie is very funny.

PERIPHERAL MOMENT:

He’s gigging at Caroline’s.

REALITY CROSSOVER:

We’ve all been there, frightened to tell a group of loud mouth teenagers/students to shut up.

MVP:

Totally Louie for going there.

GUEST APPEARANCES:

Fine performances from Michael Drayer and Danny Burstein (as son and bully).

EPISODE LINKS:

None.

PERCULARITIES:

Amy Landecker actually plays Louie’s mother in the episode “God”.

OPENS:

With Louie doing a stand-up bit about early years confusion about sex and displays via flashback how useless the people (his father and his teacher) were at giving him advice.

CLOSES:

With the eight year old Louie smoking a cigarette behind his house where he is soon joined by forty two year old Louie ordering (bullying) him that he does not smoke.  Young Louie then asks “who are you?” at which point modern Louie says “I’m you in thirty years” prompting the response “you’ve got to be kidding me: you’re fat, you’re ugly”.  “Yeah, you’re gonna be bald too” at which point eight year old Louie asks “what happened to you?  This sucks.”

OTHER:

I’m relieve that it is not only me that realises younger people are awful.

FINAL WORDS:

Who starts blowing guys at 42?

MOM

SEASON 1 EPISODE 7 PART 2 (EPISODE 7)

THIS IS IT:

Following up on the weird sexual suggestion/act of his brother during the first half of the episode (“Double Date”) suddenly Louie finds himself faced with having to deal with his mother (Mary Louise Wilson) experiencing her own sexual renaissance.  It begins when she arrives unannounced at his front door just as he is taking his girls (Lilly and Jane) to their mother’s house.  Not being in a position to deal with her, his mother feels it unreasonable that Louie does not drop everything to address her, instead choosing to leave her in his apartment for thirty minutes while he deals with his own kids.  The episode then cuts to the pair of them sat in a restaurant.  After complaining about getting a taxi to the restaurant his mother then complains when the waiter cannot supply a “menu with larger type”.  They go elsewhere.  By this stage Louie has his head in his hands.  At the restaurant his mother continues to complain at which point out of frustration Louie cuts to the chase asks why she has turned up for an impromptu visit.  With this she informs him that she is now a lesbian as she drags up her past, her sex life.  Pained Louie moans at his mother saying how he hasn’t seen her in a year and how he doesn’t care about her new lesbian tendencies prompting her to accuse him of being homophobic.  Before long Louie is getting up to leave with his mom commenting “I haven’t told you about my wife” the response to which causes a scene and many turned heads in the restaurant.  He tells her to go away and she turns on the tears with him pointing at her telling the restaurant “this is bullshit, you need to know that.”  As ever the tears win.  The next scene is Louie and his brother discussing the reality of their mother being a lesbian (“mom is a lesbonian”).  Robbie freaks out while Louie remains sceptical and indifferent.  This then cuts to Louie sat in a restaurant waiting to meet his mother’s wife (his step mom).  He is dressed normal but when Robbie arrives he is dressed up in a suit (“trying to have some respect”).  Their mother arrives without her wife.  With this she makes comment about their weight before Jasmine (Ana Kayne) turns up.  Jasmine turns out to be a stunning woman around the age of thirty, the kind of lady Louie and Robbie can only dream of meeting.  “Hi, what’s up?  Your mom’s really cool.”  Louie experiences more agony at the hands of his mother while his brother just freezes.  The ladies order vodka on the rocks while Louie orders his comatose brother a water garnering the response “no fun” from his mom.  With this she makes the declaration “Jasmine has been introducing me to a lot of new things; she’s been very good for me.”  At this point Robbie pipes up in disbelief to the retort “I would have thought you’d be glad for me.”  And all the while Louie remains aloof.  Somewhat more affect Robbie complains about having never felt love from his mother.  It ends with him pleading to her to say she loves him only for her to leave telling Jasmine to stay who responds “this is a total bummer” before exchange glances with Louie and the end of happy suggestion.

IS IT ANY GOOD:

Yes, it is excruciatingly good.  It contains a classic trademark Louie twist on proceedings which is so wrong but so right.

WHAT IT TAUGHT ME:

Mothers go crazy with age and as a result can be very embarrassing and stressful.

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT:

In an ever changing world in ever changing times, our parents’ efforts to adapt to them can be catastrophic.

STANDUP ELEMENT:

How hard it is to still have love for your relatives.  How deep down gay people should “stop doing that” because of the failing ergonomics of two vaginas smooshing against the other.  And finally how he is going to hell for having sex with a hooker who turned out to be male.

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

None.

BEST LINES:

“If I knew that we would be taking a taxi cab here I would have dressed differently”.  “I don’t care what you do with your vagina, honestly you can take your vagina and shove it up your ass.”  “Robbie you’re pretty fat too.  Is that all you boys do, get fat and die?”  “So let me get this straight.  My mother is married to a girl who’s younger than me and way hotter than any chick I’ve ever dated or ever will date in my life.”

BEST JOKES:

"We only had sex two times.  One was for your brother and one was for you and it was really disgusting.  At least it was for me, I hated it.”  The way his mother keeps repeatedly saying “woman!”  “Come on, who doesn’t love their mother?” and Louie raises his hand.

PERIPHERAL MOMENT:

Louie took his girls to visit his mother last Christmas only for her to instead visit her friend in Phoenix, Arizona.  Thus Louie and his daughters spent the Christmas of 2009 in a Holiday Inn with Santa bringing them a bag of M&Ms each.  Also Louie smokes.

REALITY CROSSOVER:

Louie’s final admission at a lack of sexual damage echoes my own.

MVP:

Louie’s mom Dorethy is cold!

GUEST APPEARANCES:

David Patrick Kelly.

EPISODE LINKS:

His mother is somewhat different to her portrayal in the “God”.

PERCULARITIES:

What the fuck happened to his mom?

OPENS:

With Louis speaking to his shrink and sometimes how when he is talking to his daughter he’ll be looking down at the little girl and he’ll see his mother.  The therapist takes the observation a little too literal.

CLOSES:

Various takes of the over the top insanity of Louie’s mom crying in the restaurant coupled with him telling her to “shut up.”

OTHER:

I can’t help but feel with how the modern world is going that we are all likely to have a similar experience with our relatives.

FINAL WORDS:

Why are families such dysfunctional perverts?

DOUBLE DATE

SEASON 1 EPISODE 7 PART 1 (EPISODE 7)

THIS IS IT:

Louie is at the gym working out with his brother Robbie (Robert Kelly) who tells him about this woman he is dating and that wants to meet Louie as she is a big fan.  His brother asks if he minds he brings her to his gig tomorrow (“a short set at the (Comedy) Cellar”).  Then he pushes it by enquiring what he is doing after, suggesting maybe that they all hang out.  With it being a date Louie points out it would be weird.  Reluctantly he agrees to some kind of introduction but his brother pushes the request creating suspicion.  It turns out the said woman only wants Robbie if it is with another guy (“she can’t get off with anything less than two guys”).  Somewhat inappropriately he asks Louie if he will help out suggesting a scenario whereby Louie begins things and he finishes them off.  Sensibly his reaction is “I’m going to go home now and I’m not going to talk to you for about three weeks.”

IS IT ANY GOOD:

It’s OK, a five minute exchange that leads directly to the second half of the episode “Mom”.

WHAT IT TAUGHT ME:

I’m better off without siblings.

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT:

As things become more and more distorted in everyday life, our values and morals are leading us towards thinking about doing depraved things.  Sometimes we even act upon them.  It addresses how casual some people now feel towards having threesomes, how matter of fact it has become.

STANDUP ELEMENT:

Teaching his kids values.  He used to have them but they’re melting away.  He believes that “if you murder somebody and never get caught, its fine.”

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

None.

BEST LINES:

“It gets hard as a nail.  My dick is swollen.  I mean, my dick is leaking and swollen”, “OK, this is part I didn’t want to hear about.”  “You want to have a threesome with your own brother?  What’s wrong with you?”

BEST JOKES:

Louie’s therapist’s stupidity and confusion.

PERIPHERAL MOMENT:

None.

REALITY CROSSOVER:

In the past I have done friends favours in order to get somewhere with somebody.  I have however never had a threesome with my brother because a) the concept never appealed even though the opportunity was once there and b) I do not have a brother.

MVP:

Louie for remaining sensible in the light of such suggestion.

GUEST APPEARANCES:

David Patrick Kelly returns as Louie’s therapist.

EPISODE LINKS:

This is his brother’s second appearance following his debut in the episode “Divorce”.

PERCULARITIES:

Louie and his brother exercise?

OPENS:

With Louis speaking to his shrink and sometimes how when he is talking to his daughter he’ll be looking down at the little girl and he’ll see his mother.  The therapist takes the observation a little too literal.

CLOSES:

Various takes of the over the top insanity of Louie’s mom crying in the restaurant coupled with him telling her to “shut up.”

OTHER:

Less half an episode and more a quarter episode.

FINAL WORDS:

Why are families such dysfunctional perverts?