NICK

SEASON 1 EPISODE 3 PART 2 (EPISODE 3)

THIS IS IT:

The Nick in question this half of the episode is Nick DiPaolo.  He is something of a controversial comedian that leans somewhat to the right but despite this I cannot recommend his Raw Nerve recording enough.  With this the episode cuts back to the Comedy Cellar where Louie is doing a bit about being called an “Indian giver” recently.  He decrees that this is one of the most offensive things you could say being that it makes you a person gives somebody something then change your mind but in the context of relating it to Native Americans it doesn’t exactly work considering when people arrived in America they weren’t exactly given the country so much as they just took it.  Then he ends his set as Nick DiPaolo steps out onstage immediately joking about the shaved head MC as “going through chemo”.  From here he likens the Comedy Cellar to the basement of Al-Qaeda’s hide out.  Things cut to Louie fresh offstage asking the waitress how things are going tonight as she moans that she is waiting “two tables all black people so I know is that I’m not making any tips” to which Louie responds “you being serious right now?” asking her if she is seriously being “that racist?”  With this the waitress qualifies her statement saying how she has been waiting tables for five years and has never got a tip from a black person.  Louie maintains that is racist at which point a black waitress asks “what are you talking about?” as Louie angrily states “she says black people don’t tip” to which the waitress responds “are you nuts?  Niggers don’t tip, everyone knows that.  Have you ever waited tables before?  Then shut up asshole”.  We cut back to DiPaolo onstage saying that he pulled a muscle in his neck giving his wife the finger behind her back before asking “ever hold a piss for so long it turned into a shit?”  He then changes track by stating that he doesn’t know why the audience voted for Obama as the room goes quiet and frosty saying “oh boy I hit you right in the white guilt muscle.”  From here he lays into Obama as the camera cuts to Louie shaking his head.  Afterwards Louie and Nick are sat in a booth with Todd Barry as DiPaolo complains “people are such hypocrites down there” as Louie responds “I’m sure you did better at the Hitler Youth rally” as they proceed to dig at each other over politics with DiPaolo eventually saying “white guys don’t have a voice in this country anymore” as Louie continues to liken him to a Nazi before DiPaolo throws a glass of water over him and they get into a fight which results in DiPaolo cutting his right hand open (“Jesus man, it looks bad”).  With this we cut to the pair of them waiting in the A&E department of a hospital.  Now that things have calmed down Nick asks Louie how the kids are as his wife phones to see where he is.  He just tells her “I’m out” as Louie says “you didn’t tell her where you are?” to which he responds “she’ll just start worrying, what’s the use?”  Smiling Louie comments “it must be nice having someone at home worrying for you”.  DiPaolo shrugs this statement off before saying how the other day he received a package from India which turned out to be a “brick of Viagra” which his wife ordered online.  He adds how great his wife is but “some nights you just want a burger and hit the sack”.  They’re in counselling now and every other night he sticks a wooden medicated boner in her as they now sit around waiting to see who’s going to die first.  By the time they get out of the hospital the sun has risen.  As they walk along the quiet morning streets Louie apologises for DiPaolo’s hand and for calling him a Nazi as he responds “don’t worry about it faggot”.  As DiPaolo hails a cab he comments “remember when we were in our twenties we used to come home this late because we were all getting laid?” to which Louie responds “we never got laid”.  And as the cab pulls off Louie gives Nick the finger.  With this we cut back to Louie at Carolines recounting picking up a friend’s cousin visiting New York (or any city) for the first time at the Port Authority as she freaks out at New York.  Then as they pass a homeless guy while the locals ignore him she immediately bends down and takes a knee to him asking “what happens?”  As she offers to help out Louie and his friend set about tell her not to bother the homeless guy and correcting her behaviour as if she is doing something wrong.  No, that’s America and that is how they do.  And with that the episode ends.  The credit sequence sees Dr Ben (Ricky Gervais) on the phone to Louie giving a series of diagnosis, each more in bad taste as the last.

IS IT ANY GOOD:

Yeah its good.  Nick DiPaolo is a fine act and the episode goes places.

WHAT IT TAUGHT ME:

That being neither ring wing or liberal works.  Racism isn’t worth fighting over.  Black people don’t tip.

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT:

At a time when you not supposed to say anything politically incorrect, these two are happy to snap their differences back and forth.  Then ultimately the disagreement proves a waste of time as some things are never going to change meanwhile there will always be more important issues to take care off at home.

STANDUP ELEMENT:

Louie begins doing a bit at the Comedy Cellar about being called an “Indian giver” and is then followed on stage by Nick DiPaolo who upsets the crowd with his Obama comments.

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

So this is the episode addressing racism.

BEST LINES:

“At least you’ve got that dirty jizz rag seeping germs into your wound”.  “I think I saw the bartender spit into it and wipe off some AIDS vomit”.

BEST JOKES:

There actually aren’t many jokes in this episode, more it is quite the sobering reality check.

PERIPHERAL MOMENT:

Louie and Nick are performing at the Comedy Cellar.

REALITY CROSSOVER:

White people love arguing over racism.  As if that is an issue that should affect us any further than acting with basic human decency.  So obviously I have had debates with my friends over racism over the years and I must concede I have always tended to side more with a murky interpretation of the issue as per DiPaolo as opposed to the black and white clarity of Louie.  Also the early morning exchange after being out all night is always a glorious, bonding and philosophical moment as display here with these guys.

MVP:

I’m a bit fan of Nick DiPaolo and think he is great in this episode.

GUEST APPEARANCES:

Nick DiPaolo and Todd Barry.  DiPaolo is part of the Louie-Sopranos connection having appeared as Joey the cop in the season four episode Christopher.

EPISODE LINKS:

No explicit links but DiPaolo and Barry are recurring pieces of furniture in the series.

PERCULARITIES:

The cut on DiPaolo’s hand doesn’t look that bad.

OPENS:

With Louie doing a bit at the Comedy Cellar talking about hit shitty body before moving onto his general health concerns and how it affects his having sex.

CLOSES:

With Dr Ben (Ricky Gervais) ringing Louie with the results of his blood work.  At this point he tells Louie that he needs him to come back in and take some more tests as his blood work shows that he might have “slight big fat ginger uglitus”.  Again duped, Louie responds “oh my god, you’re suck a dick” as Dr Ben laughs down the line at him.  Then ceasing his laugh he adds “no, you’ve got AIDS but don’t worry as the cancer is going to eventually kill the AIDS before it kills you quite slowly and painfully.  No, I’m (joking), you do have cancer though.  Loads of it, in your scrotum.  In fact, that’s all there is in the scrotum.  No balls at all, just two unhealthy lumps of cancer that replaced the horrible old squidgy bollocks that were there and that’s gonna kill you as well so erm.  By the way the AIDS shows, it’s very extensive, it shows you got AIDS from raping little blind boys” at which point Louie hangs up and throws his phone down as a grinning Dr Ben puts down his phone looking quite pleased with himself.

OTHER:

The return of Gervais at the end somewhat disjoints things.  Perhaps episode 3 should have featured this section first and the Dr Ben portion in the second half.

FINAL WORDS:

Louie’s a jerk.

DR BEN

SEASON 1 EPISODE 3 PART 1 (EPISODE 3)

THIS IS IT:

This is Louie addressing his health issues. It begins with him at the Comedy Cellar stating how he feels pretty good today because he finally has the body that he wants.  He explains that he accomplished this feat by basically wanting a shitty body.  “You have to want your own shitty, ugly, disgusting body”.  Then contrary to this he adds that he doesn’t like feeling uncomfortable and unhealthy and unfortunately he feels both of those things all the time.  He gets really sweaty all the time which is also bad for sex as he just rains sweat all over people.  And he displays with a very physical and graphic re-enactment complete with grunting sounds while empathising with the sight/vision of the lady beneath wiping the sweat from her head saying “dude you’re limiting my enjoyment by a lot”.  With this we cut to Louie entering a doctor’s office where the black lady on reception acts officious and annoyed that he doesn’t have an appointment even though he is friends with the doctor, having gone to high school with him, and he said it would be all right for him just to call in.  Frustrated Louie says that he will just sit in the waiting room and wait for the doctor which the receptionist even objects to prompting Louie to ask “do people come in here and steal medical treatment?”  Fortunately at this point Dr Ben (Ricky Gervais) emerges from his consultation looking at Louie, looking at the receptionist and looking at Louie again pretending not to know who he is or what he is doing in the office (“do I know you?”).  With this he cracks up laughing, further exasperating Louie.  As they enter his office Louie points out the woman already in the waiting room saying that he didn’t mean to jump ahead of her but Dr Ben assures him that its OK, “don’t worry, she’s dying, no hope, really sad.  Cancer from her vagina up to her eyeballs so I’m just squeezing her for a bit of extra insurance money until her liver falls out of her arse” before again cracking up laughing to the response from Louie “man, that’s not funny”.  Now cutting to the chase Dr Ben asks Louie how he’s feeling to which he responds “I feel like shit”.  Further enquiring Ben asks “feel like shit?  Are you sure not diarrhoea because you look like diarrhoea, it looks like someone poured diarrhoea into a face shaped mould” prompting more chuckles and Louie requesting “could you stop?”  Back on track Ben tells Louie to look up as he beams a small torch into his eyes and concludes “I know what’s wrong with you: AIDS” and laughs his head off as Louie says “I can’t believe you’re a doctor”.  With this Ben tells him to “strip down to your underpants, let’s take a look at ya”.  After Louie removes his shirt Ben looks aghast and comments “Jesus.  That is, you don’t need a doctor, you need a time machine.  Did no one tell you that tits are meant to be on women not men” before screaming “what is that?” while patting his right moob.  As he sits down Ben begins listening to Louie’s chest using his stethoscope on his back at which point he asks “so how do you feel really, apart from the tumour I can hear in your lungs” before again laughing maniacally in Louie’s face.  Finally Louie strips all the way down as the camera offers/subjects the viewer a fine shot of his arse.  When Ben turns and looks he comments “oh god Louie, how can, that is really bad.  That’s the worst penis I have ever seen in my life.  That is disgusting.  Its, oh my god, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, seeing that.  And my dad hung himself in front of me whilst masturbating.  But if I could take one of those things back it would be seeing that awful cock.  It looks like you’ve been getting a dog to suck it off but it chewed it, like it thought it was a horrible old blood and cum filled shoe” at which point he calls the nurse in to look at it too.  With this the nonplussed receptionist returns as she is asked “honestly, is that not the ugliest penis you have ever seen in your life” to which she nods in agreement responding dryly “yes doctor is very ugly” prompting him to emphasise “very ugly.  And she’s a nurse”.  On that note he pulls out a pair of rubber gloves commenting “what worries me is if that’s your testicles, what’s your anus gonna be like?” to the refusal of Louie say “well we’re not going to find that out”.  However Dr Ben insists on giving Louie a full rectal examination because “you’re over 40, this could save your life”.  Despite the promise of “I’ll be as gentle as I can” Louie is soon grimacing as by the third prod Ben is beginning to mess about, smirking as he pokes him up the behind with rhythm causing Louie to pull out shouting “what is wrong with you?” to the giggling response of “this is serious” as Louie gestates “there is no way it is supposed to go in and out like that”.  His explanation is “well it can do, I’m a doctor.  And it tells me that everything is fine up there”.  His closing verdict is that “I’m still going with AIDS but let’s do some blood work and find out” as Louie gives him the most dirty look.  With this the episode cuts back to Louie doing stand-up saying “my days start poorly because of the shape I’m in”.  He states that now being 42 he is on the decline, that there is never going to be a year that was better than the year before.  He says that every morning he opens his eyes and “reload the program of misery. He just opens his eyes, remembers who he is and what he’s like” to the resigned conclusion of “I guess”.

IS IT ANY GOOD:

Yes, this is perhaps where the show hits its stride with reluctant thanks to Ricky Gervais.

WHAT IT TAUGHT ME:

That I am right to fear showing my penis to my doctor.

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT:

This is Louie addressing his health concerns which are also our collective health concerns.  Basically he is asking questions on our behalf.

STANDUP ELEMENT:

The episode opens with Louie in the Comedy Cellar doing his “having the body he wants” bit (“you just need to want a shitty body”).

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

Just the whole visit your doctor experience and healthcare.

BEST LINES:

Pretty much every line Ricky Gervais utters coupled with his annoying, maniacal laugh.

BEST JOKES:

Getting the nurse in to look at Louie’s penis is pretty funny.

PERIPHERAL MOMENT:

Louie is doing his comedy set at the Comedy Cellar.  Also Louie went to high school with the Dr Ben character.

REALITY CROSSOVER:

My own doctor’s name begins a “B”.  Like most men I have experienced that horrible moment of having your GP look at and shuffle around with your member.  It was excruciating as is this episode as it is supposed to be.

MVP:

Ricky Gervais.  This is actually what he is does best.  Forget his pathos, empathy shit, he is the king of bad taste and being mean.

GUEST APPEARANCES:

Ricky Gervais as Dr Ben.

EPISODE LINKS:

Ricky Gervais later returns in the episode “Gym”.

PERCULARITIES:

Louie really went to high school with an English kid from Reading?  And basically the whole question surrounding Dr Ben and how on earth he remains in practice.

OPENS:

With Louie doing a bit at the Comedy Cellar talking about hit shitty body before moving onto his general health concerns and how it affects his having sex.

CLOSES:

With Dr Ben (Ricky Gervais) ringing Louie with the results of his blood work.  At this point he tells Louie that he needs him to come back in and take some more tests as his blood work shows that he might have “slight big fat ginger uglitus”.  Again duped, Louie responds “oh my god, you’re suck a dick” as Dr Ben laughs down the line at him.  Then ceasing his laugh he adds “no, you’ve got AIDS but don’t worry as the cancer is going to eventually kill the AIDS before it kills you quite slowly and painfully.  No, I’m (joking), you do have cancer though.  Loads of it, in your scrotum.  In fact, that’s all there is in the scrotum.  No balls at all, just two unhealthy lumps of cancer that replaced the horrible old squidgy bollocks that were there and that’s gonna kill you as well so erm.  By the way the AIDS shows, it’s very extensive, it shows you got AIDS from raping little blind boys” at which point Louie hangs up and throws his phone down as a grinning Dr Ben puts down his phone looking quite pleased with himself.

OTHER:

I love how Gervais’ performance in this episode really appears to polarise people.

FINAL WORDS:

I’ve just postponed my new visit to the doctor.