Wednesday, 7 July 2010



This is Louie addressing his health issues. It begins with him at the Comedy Cellar stating how he feels pretty good today because he finally has the body that he wants.  He explains that he accomplished this feat by basically wanting a shitty body.  “You have to want your own shitty, ugly, disgusting body”.  Then contrary to this he adds that he doesn’t like feeling uncomfortable and unhealthy and unfortunately he feels both of those things all the time.  He gets really sweaty all the time which is also bad for sex as he just rains sweat all over people.  And he displays with a very physical and graphic re-enactment complete with grunting sounds while empathising with the sight/vision of the lady beneath wiping the sweat from her head saying “dude you’re limiting my enjoyment by a lot”.  With this we cut to Louie entering a doctor’s office where the black lady on reception acts officious and annoyed that he doesn’t have an appointment even though he is friends with the doctor, having gone to high school with him, and he said it would be all right for him just to call in.  Frustrated Louie says that he will just sit in the waiting room and wait for the doctor which the receptionist even objects to prompting Louie to ask “do people come in here and steal medical treatment?”  Fortunately at this point Dr Ben (Ricky Gervais) emerges from his consultation looking at Louie, looking at the receptionist and looking at Louie again pretending not to know who he is or what he is doing in the office (“do I know you?”).  With this he cracks up laughing, further exasperating Louie.  As they enter his office Louie points out the woman already in the waiting room saying that he didn’t mean to jump ahead of her but Dr Ben assures him that its OK, “don’t worry, she’s dying, no hope, really sad.  Cancer from her vagina up to her eyeballs so I’m just squeezing her for a bit of extra insurance money until her liver falls out of her arse” before again cracking up laughing to the response from Louie “man, that’s not funny”.  Now cutting to the chase Dr Ben asks Louie how he’s feeling to which he responds “I feel like shit”.  Further enquiring Ben asks “feel like shit?  Are you sure not diarrhoea because you look like diarrhoea, it looks like someone poured diarrhoea into a face shaped mould” prompting more chuckles and Louie requesting “could you stop?”  Back on track Ben tells Louie to look up as he beams a small torch into his eyes and concludes “I know what’s wrong with you: AIDS” and laughs his head off as Louie says “I can’t believe you’re a doctor”.  With this Ben tells him to “strip down to your underpants, let’s take a look at ya”.  After Louie removes his shirt Ben looks aghast and comments “Jesus.  That is, you don’t need a doctor, you need a time machine.  Did no one tell you that tits are meant to be on women not men” before screaming “what is that?” while patting his right moob.  As he sits down Ben begins listening to Louie’s chest using his stethoscope on his back at which point he asks “so how do you feel really, apart from the tumour I can hear in your lungs” before again laughing maniacally in Louie’s face.  Finally Louie strips all the way down as the camera offers/subjects the viewer a fine shot of his arse.  When Ben turns and looks he comments “oh god Louie, how can, that is really bad.  That’s the worst penis I have ever seen in my life.  That is disgusting.  Its, oh my god, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, seeing that.  And my dad hung himself in front of me whilst masturbating.  But if I could take one of those things back it would be seeing that awful cock.  It looks like you’ve been getting a dog to suck it off but it chewed it, like it thought it was a horrible old blood and cum filled shoe” at which point he calls the nurse in to look at it too.  With this the nonplussed receptionist returns as she is asked “honestly, is that not the ugliest penis you have ever seen in your life” to which she nods in agreement responding dryly “yes doctor is very ugly” prompting him to emphasise “very ugly.  And she’s a nurse”.  On that note he pulls out a pair of rubber gloves commenting “what worries me is if that’s your testicles, what’s your anus gonna be like?” to the refusal of Louie say “well we’re not going to find that out”.  However Dr Ben insists on giving Louie a full rectal examination because “you’re over 40, this could save your life”.  Despite the promise of “I’ll be as gentle as I can” Louie is soon grimacing as by the third prod Ben is beginning to mess about, smirking as he pokes him up the behind with rhythm causing Louie to pull out shouting “what is wrong with you?” to the giggling response of “this is serious” as Louie gestates “there is no way it is supposed to go in and out like that”.  His explanation is “well it can do, I’m a doctor.  And it tells me that everything is fine up there”.  His closing verdict is that “I’m still going with AIDS but let’s do some blood work and find out” as Louie gives him the most dirty look.  With this the episode cuts back to Louie doing stand-up saying “my days start poorly because of the shape I’m in”.  He states that now being 42 he is on the decline, that there is never going to be a year that was better than the year before.  He says that every morning he opens his eyes and “reload the program of misery. He just opens his eyes, remembers who he is and what he’s like” to the resigned conclusion of “I guess”.

Yes, this is perhaps where the show hits its stride with reluctant thanks to Ricky Gervais.

That I am right to fear showing my penis to my doctor.

This is Louie addressing his health concerns which are also our collective health concerns.  Basically he is asking questions on our behalf.

The episode opens with Louie in the Comedy Cellar doing his “having the body he wants” bit (“you just need to want a shitty body”).

Just the whole visit your doctor experience and healthcare.

Pretty much every line Ricky Gervais utters coupled with his annoying, maniacal laugh.

Getting the nurse in to look at Louie’s penis is pretty funny.

Louie is doing his comedy set at the Comedy Cellar.  Also Louie went to high school with the Dr Ben character.

My own doctor’s name begins a “B”.  Like most men I have experienced that horrible moment of having your GP look at and shuffle around with your member.  It was excruciating as is this episode as it is supposed to be.

Ricky Gervais.  This is actually what he is does best.  Forget his pathos, empathy shit, he is the king of bad taste and being mean.

Ricky Gervais as Dr Ben.

Ricky Gervais later returns in the episode “Gym”.

Louie really went to high school with an English kid from Reading?  And basically the whole question surrounding Dr Ben and how on earth he remains in practice.

With Louie doing a bit at the Comedy Cellar talking about hit shitty body before moving onto his general health concerns and how it affects his having sex.

With Dr Ben (Ricky Gervais) ringing Louie with the results of his blood work.  At this point he tells Louie that he needs him to come back in and take some more tests as his blood work shows that he might have “slight big fat ginger uglitus”.  Again duped, Louie responds “oh my god, you’re suck a dick” as Dr Ben laughs down the line at him.  Then ceasing his laugh he adds “no, you’ve got AIDS but don’t worry as the cancer is going to eventually kill the AIDS before it kills you quite slowly and painfully.  No, I’m (joking), you do have cancer though.  Loads of it, in your scrotum.  In fact, that’s all there is in the scrotum.  No balls at all, just two unhealthy lumps of cancer that replaced the horrible old squidgy bollocks that were there and that’s gonna kill you as well so erm.  By the way the AIDS shows, it’s very extensive, it shows you got AIDS from raping little blind boys” at which point Louie hangs up and throws his phone down as a grinning Dr Ben puts down his phone looking quite pleased with himself.

I love how Gervais’ performance in this episode really appears to polarise people.

I’ve just postponed my new visit to the doctor.

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